I believe that all stories deserve to be told. so, while you tell stories of great men, you take a step further and you tell stories of their counterparts; Men who kill and bathe in the blood of their victims and when it comes to men, that’s not particularly hard to find.

Just in Nigeria for instance, we talk about Anini, the Nigerian Robin hood, who did not just steal but killed a lot of people while escaping the police at every turn and giving some of the stolen money back to the people.

We talk about Eddie Nawgu aka Alusi N’eje Uka. a self-proclaimed prophet, and if you grew up in Nigeria and your father told you stories, you know this guy pounded kids for his human sacrifices.

In the world, we talk about the likes of Osama Bin Laden and the implications of 09/11. We agree that terrorism is evil but the idea of someone whose moral judgment is so warped that he would do anything for what he believes in is what makes these stories legendary. If you relate with Thanos in the Avenger’s infinity war (This movie is still on my yet to see list…sorry!), you get my point and deserve a hug… come here!

So, imagine my shock when on Friday evening, I decided to find out what evil things Nigerian women and African women in general, have been up to in recent times and coming up with nothing incredibly notable or hardcore. hence my question. Is it that African women are not ‘notorious’ or ‘rebellious enough’. Is it that there is not a single African woman killing people, organising raids, maiming just for the fun of it or is it that these crimes are incredibly well buried?

The worst crimes committed by most African women revolved around who their men slept with, they are mostly out there cutting off male parts and beating up their help. It’s so mundane, it makes me cringe. So wait, you are out here telling me no one kept Eve’s legacy? because you know what Eve did right? she made a bad business deal and that was her only crime! I mean, it’s not her fault the serpent could sell sea water to a sailor. He promised her a ‘better life’, it sounded like a good deal and she went against everything that she had prior to that point been taught to believe.

In the world, there are women out there doing jaw-dropping things. I mean, take a look at Diane Down. Because of her, people can’t say to me anymore “Men are always dying for women, Romeo died for Juliet, There was space for Jack on that Titanic door and yada yada” because dying for love is pretty basic when you think about a woman that shoots her three kids just to be with a married man who did not want kids. and the best part? when she was ‘found out’, instead of crying and spilling all her secrets like that idiotic Anini and his zero sense of loyalty, Diane Down up until this day has not admitted to trying to kill her kids, not even when one of her two surviving children testified against her.

Look at Juana Barraza, this woman hated old ladies so much that she schemed to get into their homes by pretending to help them carry groceries or by claiming to be government sent medical help and then killing them with a telephone cord or stockings. she went on to kill around 50 old women to which she actually only claims one. It didn’t help that the police was out there looking for a man with a ‘confused sexual identity’ while she was on the prowl because Juana was actually a well-known wrestler and was quite stocky.

My best story has to be the Phoolan Devi story. Phoolan was married off at eleven to a man who was in his thirties in exchange for a cow, he would go on to abuse her repeatedly, she would escape only to be gang-raped multiple times by high caste outlaws until she lost consciousness but this is not a story about Phoolan’s journey, it is a story of her revenge. She became a burglar, stabbed her husband and dragged him out to the village square, killed the 22 men who had gang-raped her and was charged with 48 criminal offences including, murder, arson and kidnapping for ransom but get this, in 1996, she contested and won the elections as a member of parliament. All hail the bandit queen! She even got to go out in style as she was assassinated in 2001 by three masked men in New Delhi.

Are there no stories of African women who did things like this? Is this because the African woman has often been taught to be seen and not heard? Are there no rebels? I refuse to believe there are no rebels! Were they so good they operated under the radar and got away with it? Is it possible that the notorious ones have been overlooked because we have been taught to not expect much from them? Are we to believe that the worst thing an African woman can do is to pour acid on the side chick or to pour pepper into the help’s vagina? Are we so mediocre that our bad eggs can’t even put an effort into being bad? Is this healthy?

If you have a story that would interest me, please leave it in the comments. or send me a direct message. I would really love to hear your thoughts on this. Peace Y’all!

I eat. I read. I write. I code. Never in that order